Horny Toad

Horny Toad, born in Slippery Springs, –Texas, that is– was small in stature but grew up a scrapper. Early on he had to learn how to fight but quickly figured out how to negotiate with the bully frogs in grade school who tried to steal his lunch money. This skill served him well when he took his first job as a roughneck in the oil fields. He used to bet the bigger, tougher toads that he could climb the rig faster than they could. He’d always win and take home their take home pay. Horny soon grew tired of the hot west Texas sun and that back-breaking job, so he packed up his carpet bag and joined up with a local traveling circus. He quickly became the top carnival barker on the midway, hornswoggling kids out their money at the duck float. He lived by the phrase “there’s a sucker born every minute.” After pocketing enough cash to buy himself an El Dorado, he rolled that caddie into Tinsel Town, where he raised his deal-making prowess to a new level. He was in his element hobnobbing with power brokers and the rich and famous, where the stakes were high and snakes were for hire.

The City of Lights started to fade for Horny when circumstances beyond his control required a change of scenery. Thankful for the 8 cylinders in his El Dorado, Horny hightailed it down to Nashville, Tennessee in search of a more humble and respectful clientele. When he got to Music City, however, he realized that the talent pool he was looking to wade up to his wallet in was not down on Broadway or Music Row, but a few miles down the road in a little honky tonk called The Waterhole, in a small town called Ashland City, —and the county, believe it or not, was “Cheatham, “ and that made him smile.

Now Horny always loved the ladies and considered himself a first class casanova, and the ladies had a thing for him. Nobody seemed to know why, cause he sure wasn’t the best looking toad. Some say it was those hypnotizing evil eyes or the fact that he could dance like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. He’d twirl ‘em around until they were dizzy and that’s exactly what he did when he met a talented young singer named Sally Mander who was performing at the bar. He hoodwinked her into thinkin’ he had the power and the money to make her the next big thing,” while all along his motives were way beyond professional. She bought in hook, line and sinker, and as always with anything that sounds too good to be true……it was….

Wikipeda note

Horned lizard. … Horned lizards (Phrynosoma), also known as horny toads or horntoads, are a genus of North American lizards and the type genus of the family Phrynosomatidae. The common name is a metaphor prompted by their flattened, rounded body and blunt snout. The genus name Phrynosoma means “toad-bodied”.